first christmas tree

a tiny rubber band
glass christmas tree ornaments (2)
silver tinsel
dirty socks
cardboard chunks
one golf ball
a lime green sharpie

i fished all of the above items out of clara's mouth. just today.

she loves christmas! so much to get in to.
we put up our first christmas tree this year, and it makes our house feel even more like home.
at first we just left the bottom two feet free of ornaments, so that clara would not pull them down. however, she is growing inches each day so it was no use. she boldly jumps up and grabs the ornaments and then smiles back at me. in her defense, they do look like toys. she also learned how to pull down the tinsel today. she is above the curve.

we have not had to worry about the cats climbing the christmas tree yet. buddy has circled it a few times, rudy has blinked slowly at it while sitting on the sofa (squint test!) and lanka, well, she's probably still in the closet.

the only solution was to cage in the christmas tree- to keep all these wild animals out.

St. Nicholas Day

in december of 2006, i wrote the following blog post:



Tomorrow is St. Nicholas Day. Because my brother's name is Nicholas, it has always been a family tradition to celebrate this day.

For the past 27 years, on the eve of St. Nicholas Day, I put my shoes outside my door and wake up in the morning to find them overflowing with magical treats. You know, like Rolo's and Tootsie Pops, and maybe a $5 bill. Yes, it's true, just like Santa Claus, St. Nicholas can find you where ever you are. With the help of the USPS he even found me in Duluth. I enjoy tradition. Comfort. Candy.

I have been reflective and sad all day after receiving the following email, yes, email, from St. Nick:

Dearest Nick and Sarah,
Well, I must say you have both grown up to be admirable young adults. I have watched you through the years and am as proud of you as your parents are. You are both fine young people. I think it's time for me to concentrate my attention on youngsters who will be lucky to get some coal in their shoes! Look for my return when YOU have youngsters I'll need to keep an eye on.
All my love to you both always,
St. Nicholas

Yep. I have been officially declared an adult, by the Patron Saint of Children. I feel broken-up with. Let down. I didn't see this one coming. I believed in the magic. It could have gone on forever? No?

Then again, maybe St. Nicholas is right. Maybe the time has come. Maybe I am an admirable young adult. Maybe the tradition does not have to die. Maybe this isn't so bad. After all, St. Nicholas believes in me.

But, for the rest of today, I am going to pout, play, and eat cake. Then, tomorrow, I will grow up.

------------------------------------

two years later, now, st. nicholas day is tomorrow. the above email greatly effected my family. now that there is some distance from it, let me tell you what happened after that day.

my brother and i were devastated! we protested to st. nick (commonly known as mom.) we let her know how much that tradition has meant to us and how we were not ready to give it up. how it made us sad to think of the holiday season without it. how we knew we were grown ups but for that one day, we could forget that we were. when we woke up and looked for our shoes, we escaped from all other worries. my mom hadn't thought of all that. she was simply trying to respect the fact that we were getting older, more mature.

when we explained our sadness, my mom immediately understood the magnitude of that email. she took it back! in fact, later that same day, st. nick arrived at my work, with a paper bag full of treats, and a heartbroken mother asking for forgiveness.

you see, we will always be children to her, um, st. nick.
maybe until we are filling the tiny shoes of our own children, st. nick will come to visit us and remind us how much we are loved. i bet he will.

mittens vs. gloves

i guess there is a reason why chunky, colorful mittens work for me.

this season i bought a pair of sleek black leather driving gloves. i thought they would look
more professional, more authoritative now that i am out in the field for work.
the first day i wore them, i stopped at lunds on the way home from work. by the time i got home, i only had one glove.

i think i stepped out of the car and the glove fell from my lap into the parking lot at lunds. it was just so flat, and black, i didn't notice it on the ground. i would have noticed a giant colorful mitten on the asphalt.

there is nothing that would discern my glove from any other. i can't really call lunds and ask if they have found one "plain black leather glove." of course they have! lost and found boxes all over the world are full of single black gloves. it would be much easier to call and ask if they have found an "orange and purple recycled-sweater mitten."

my glove is gone, i am sure, but there is still hope for others...
one of my favorite winter sights is a single abandoned mitten propped up on a fence post or a mail box, in hopes that it's owner will wander by again.

100 things in this world i love

1. (inspired by) “pink of perfection”
2. fla-vor-ice pops
3. apologies
4. potlucks
5. kids getting off of Head Start busses
6. Harold and Maude
7. swimming dogs
8. diet coke
9. finishing 5 k runs
10. simple prayers ("thank you.")
11. post-it notes
12. letter openers
13. hand knit socks
14. Christmas cookies
15. clunky clogs
16. people magazine
17. recipe books
18. post cards
19. switching shampoo
20. fireworks at powderhorn park
21. getting tucked in
22. page protectors
23. stickers
24. protest signs
25. google reader
26. evergreen Chinese food
27. lemon scented Joy
28. my moms carrot cake
29. sweet potato fries
30. polka dots
31. step one
32. cherry chap stick
33. magnets
34. clipped articles
35. to do lists
36. yearly planners
37. tiny elephants
38. big dogs
39. kitty paws
40. craigslist
41. daisies
42. oprah
43. scarves
44. sea glass
45. baby turtles
46. craft fairs
47. etsy.com
48. lunch with my mom
49. bumper stickers
50. room temperature drinking water
51. black and white photographs
52. match books
53. Kleenex travel packs
54. Duluth
55. sharpies
56. Winona Knit mittens
57. pistachios
58. bingo
59. short cuts
60. barely frozen puddles
61. hot baths
62. vintage greeting cards
63. farmer’s markets
64. estate sales
65. national night out
66. thrift shopping
67. turtleneck sweaters
68. andy’s beard
69. book recommendations
70. redbox
71. cloth napkins
72. old fashioned chirstmas lights
73. ice cream dates
74. hand holding
75. cardigan sweaters
76. hot coffee
77. straws
78. board games
79. finding something lost
80. campfires
81. little jelly jars
82. saunas after the gym
83. to-go cups
84. rag rugs
85. how we met stories
86. glitter
87. glue
88. handwritten maps
89. feeding ducks
90. puppy dreams
91. free boxes
92. open mics
93. anne lamott
94. fiesta ware
95. bike rides
96. vintage glass beads
97. Mexican paper flags
98. left-over’s
99. book clubs
100. our breakfast nook

gorilla baby

i feel so blessed to have this tiny little dog, making our house seem even more alive. the cats are ducking for cover, and are just starting to realize she is not going anywhere. andy and i are calling the puppy sweet names like gorilla baby and button-cake. just in time for the holidays!

i reached into my pocket at work today and when i felt the broken up bits of puppy biscuit in there, i had a sudden pang of puppy withdrawal. i had to get home quick.

to fully enjoy clara belle, you must come over and hear her long sighs and sleepy grumbles. ridiculous! and the paws!

mas fiction

someone i trust said to me just last night, "you know what you need? fiction. you need more fiction in your life."

today i picked up the new mia tyler memoir from the library. (yes, liv tyler's sister.) i can't stop with the memoirs! it's become a problem. i don't even care about mia tyler! at least not yet, but soon i will know everything about her.

sigh.

after babysitting for some of our favorite boys last weekend i realized that one thing i need to do is read those harry potter books someday. everything that our friend's boys were talking about had to do with harry potter. it sounds like harry potter is pretty cool. i needed an interpreter or a cheat sheet. i was so out of the loop!
fiction!
okay, so after i read infinite jest, on to harry potter.

it may be a while.

hope

today is the day!
i am so hopeful today. so excited to begin a whole new way...
i have felt a collective energy around me the past couple of days, months really.

on the way to work this morning people were waving and holding up signs and smiling, and i honked and thumbs-up-ed.
there is so much possibility, and so much to think about right now. i want to thank my friends for talking and blogging about it and for sharing in this excitement along the way.

i want to thank my friend brandon who i miss terribly today. he's off in north carolina working on the campaign and making things happen. it was his excitement about obama that first educated and informed me a couple of years ago. and now, today is the day.

scratch that

remember when i said that i was not going to write about recipes? well scratch that.

for our wedding, we were given the most amazing piece of folk art. this collective recipe book, with notes and recipes from all those we love, is one of my most favorite possessions. my friend dorit put it together. it is adorable, and titled "love is a book of recipes."

i intend to make every last recipe in the book. i started with bree's recipe for vegetarian sloppy joes, because it sounded too good to resist and i was in the mood for comfort food the other day. the recipe called for vegetable alphabet soup! so good!

my mom read a book recently called julie and julia (she did not recommend it.) the woman spent a year of her life cooking every recipe in julia child's "the art of french cooking." should i try to cook every recipe in our "love is-cookbook" this year? i doubt anyone would give me a book advance for that.

in other news, my husband has a mustache-only today. it is really creepy. looks like he should be registered with the state.

spell check

what?! horray not a word? it is actually spelled hooray? like, hoo-ray! that makes sense. i have been spelling this word wrong my entire life. i feel like i use it a lot, and yet i never spelled it correctly.

no one ever corrected me.

mystery toaster

the mystery of the wedding toaster has been solved!
thank you sarah leach! i will think of you with every english muffin!

today, saturday, at our house, we are doing domestic things.
after a consult with a "master mulcher" we are building a compost pile in the back yard.

rudy the dready cat is keeping me company in the breakfast nook while i fall into the internet hole for a while. i am just starting to recover from going to see "rachel getting married" last night. it is a strange little movie, which sunk deep in and made me feel overwhelmed by how fragile we all are.

it's the brief time of year when at select locations chocolate covered peanut nut rolls can be found. buy one get one free! twice now i've left the store with two of them, failing to make the second one last long enough to give it to a friend.

hoopla

andy and i were married on september 21, 2008.

i'd thought about what i wanted my wedding to be like many times over the years.

who would be there, where we'd be, what colors would be flying through the air, what kind of songs would be sung. of course i'd thought of who i would be standing next to, and what we would say to each other. but it was better than i had ever imagined. the man i stood next to, my andy, had made me realize that it is all so worth it. the each morning and every day of it all. the forgiveness, the memories, the grief, the real happiness and the trust. i had done some things differently and was proud of how i'd changed. i had become the kind of person that fell in love with a guy like that, and we both said yes.

the day was perfect. our friends were there and our family was standing up tall.

i was so, so tired, and swept up, and amazed. i was full of gratitude and diet coke. andy looked at me and i looked at him and we stood up there in front of our people and promised to take care of each other forever.

the love was loud, and there was a photo booth. at several points in the evening, we slipped inside of the booth and pulled the curtain to give ourselves a moment. we let the flash capture our dazed faces and our big eyes; those little strips won't let us forget.

welcome to the neighborhood

a while back, we received a greeting card/coupon from bobby and steve's auto world.

http://www.bobbyandstevesautoworld.com/nicolletavenue.html

"welcome to the neighborhood!" it said. "use this coupon for a free meal for two from our grill or a free oil change." this coupon-card was put in the "keep it" mail pile.

the only decision left to make was which to accept from bobby and steve? the meal? the oil change? well, i asked andy if he wanted to check out the grill and the mint condition 57 chevy that adorns the place. andy seemed surprised that i kept this coupon, and not so interested in gas station dining.

i'm pretty sure he would have just put this in the toss-it mail pile.
so, oil change it is.

i pulled up to the bobby and steve's on 58th and nicollet. (not the scary one with the tiny police station inside on washington avenue.)
with no appointment, they pulled my car right inside, and did the oil change for free! $0.00. they did not ask if i wanted the filter or any of those additional things or whatever. they just changed the oil that was it. it was great service.

the visit only got better. while i was buying the mandatory butterfinger candy bar while i waited, a woman dressed in street clothes, with a belt full of deflated balloons, asked me "when was the last time someone gave you flowers?" i hesitated a moment too long (i had more questions for her...) and she pulled a giant balloon-animal style flower from behind her back. the thing was three feet tall.

i looked for someone who looked like they needed a balloon flower on my way out to pass it on to. no one appeared, so i put it in the car with me and drove away, amazed by humanity. it promptly popped, loudly, and scared me to death.

brady bunch

there was a foam party in our kitchen last night and no one showed up!

i immediately thought of that brady bunch episode where the washing machine overflowed and filled up the house with bubbles.

we danced.

A Sunday night Amalgamation! Marika and Regina’s was truly the most beautiful ceremony I have ever been to. During the ceremony in which I listened to some of the most heartfelt thoughts on love and faith and unity, I was struck by how incredibly lucky I am. I have inherited this group of friends that loves each other like family. They have welcomed me and trusted me and allowed me to become a part of.

After dancing to the first few slow songs, I sat down, as I usually do, when the fast music started. But then that Outkast song came on, and I jumped up. Andy jumped up too, and we bounced and danced with these people who we love, who are our family. The next day, my neck was sore from too much head banging, and my cheeks were stuck in a smile.

confession

i think i want to be a scrapbooker!
i've always liked cutting things up and, of course, stickers.

what i don't understand is when scrapbooking became a retail category in it's own. there's nothing scrappy about that! when i purchased the corner punches for our invitations, i went into "archiver's" for the first time. totally overwhelming. riduclously, unforgivingly, expensive. they had beautiful sheets of paper wrapped in shiny celophane envelopes, tons of themed stickers, and even fake passport stamps. for my scrapbook, i am inspired to use the actual scraps of my life. not purchase the scraps and make more scraps. silly! andrew bird tickets stubs, post-it love notes, our first piece of mail addressed to the "kajander family," how could i simply recycle those things?

i have this box of hundreds of tiny origami paper squares, in the most beautiful colors and patterns imaginable. i brougt them to a women's retreat last year, and my friends cut them up as part of an art project. i used them for making the advent calendar last christmas, which was my last crafty effort. i had been wondering what to do with them next. seriously, hundreds of them! they will be right at home decorating my scrapbook. i think big sometimes. i can already imagine this idea turning into a scrap-pile.

more gentle

we put our wedding invitations in the mail!

i can go back to being a good person.

how did the process of making our wedding invitations become a metaphor for life?

i worried too much about the little things. the guest list. the addresses. a smart lady told me one time that "it's none of your business what other people think of you." i need to remember that.

as bill murray says in meatballs, "it just doesn't matter."

i thought i could take it easy. some days i did, some days i did not.

after looking at countless samples of wedding invitations. after discussing the difference between "inchworm" and "chartreuse." after getting to know the staff at paper depot. after falling in love with andy a little bit more; they are in the mail.



the most important part to andy was that they were colorful. they are. the most important part to me was that the corners were rounded. it makes the paper seem more gentle. rounded corners, i think, are easier on the eyes, easier to hold on to.

***************

so, i wrote this little blog entry a few days ago and i was going to post it on my old myspace blog. but it does not seem to belong there. the myspace blog was so fun to write. it encouraged me to take notes on my life, to pay attention. but i feel like i've grown out of it. i'm 30 for heaven's sake! and facebook is too full of words already.

so here's my new blog. thanks for reading it!

now you go write something down too.